Judith Proctor's Journal

 I have seen my mother-in-law dying slowly when her expressed wishes were to die quickly (she had bowel cancer, there was no way she would recover and the last two weeks were slow and messy).

My mother is not far from the end, I suspect. She has multiple issues and is frail. She too has said to me that she would like to be allowed to pass away.  She said that they make us stay alive for too long.  (It's that phrase *make* that is the killer. The NHS will provide operations, great hospital care, but they keep on treating, even when removing it would be in line with the patient's wishes)

Molly was an atheist, my mother is Christian. Religious belief doesn't seem to be a factor.

I feel exactly the same way myself.  If I reach a stage where I am incontinent, immobile and with no chance of ever being fit and healthy again, then I will want the right to ask for an end to my life.

Some countries/states are gradually introducing legislation for assisted dying, I hope that the UK will eventually join them.

Yes, we need protection for those who don't want to end their life, but we also need protection for those dying in pain, embarrassment and boredom.

I can still hear Molly saying to me "I'm bored." She was blind, she could do none of the things that had given her life pleasure for 80+ years.  She was confined to bed, incontinent and in pain. Yet she had to spend two weeks in that condition against her expressed wishes.  She was an intelligent woman in full possession of her faculties, as is my mother.

When will we get the right to choose when to die?

 If you have views on assisted dying, then you can read and comment on the draft bill to legalise assisted dying in the UK here 

For myself, I believe that it is my life and I should have the right to end it if I have an incurable illness and nothing but pain to look forward to.

I also want the right (which this bill would not give, so I've added comments)  to state my requests in advance should I become severely mentally incapacitated by Alzheimer's or similar.  I can see the logic in requiring people to be mentally competent when requesting that they be allowed to die, but I, and many in my family, have a horror of living on when our mind has gone.  I'd like to be able to state my wishes now, so that I would be allowed to die if my mind deteriorated beyond a certain point.  (If I can no longer read, and I can't recognise my family, then I'm no longer me and I doubt very much if I'd be getting any pleasure from life)

I hate the idea that the last of my money would go on expensive care for an empty shell, instead of going to my children. 

This is something that I intend to post around once a year, simply so that there is a record of my wishes over a long period of time.  My family already know my views on voluntary euthanasia, but if they're ever called up on to act, then I want something out there to back them up.

If I reach a stage (which I hopefully never will) when I am unable to recognise my own family (due to something like Alzheimer's), then I do not wish to continue living beyond that point.

If I reach a stage where disability and poor health (in spite of good quality medical care) have reached the stage where I have no independent mobility and am in frequent pain and have no way of doing things that I enjoy (such as sewing, chatting to friends, reading books, singing, etc.) then if I ask to die, believe me.

I have no religious beliefs and no fear of death.

As long as  I enjoy my life, I wish to continue living.  At the point where life becomes a burden to me, that's the point when I wish to cease it.

The thought that someone else's beliefs/ethics will force me to remain living when I no longer wish to do so is extremely repugnant to me.

It's my damn life.