How the British use names

[watervole]

Cultures are very different in how people use names, which name they use and how/when people introduce themselves.

For instance, I get very irritated when salesmen address me by my first name. My first name is for my friends. If someone wants to sell me a mortgage/gas company/sofa, he can darn well call me 'Mrs Proctor'. They only do it to make me feel I'm with a friend - you know they've been trained to do it for that reason - and it *grates*.

I love name badges at conventions - they remove all the awkwardness of asking people's names, especially when there's too many new people and you've forgotten...

If you meet someone at a party or in a social setting (assuming you haven't just arrived and been formally introduced by your host) how long would you wait before asking the name of someone you're talking to or before telling them what your name is? Would you do it immediately, after ten mins or so, maybe after a couple of hours, or never unless they asked you first?

(This isn't just about how easily you make friends or if you have Aspergers or whatever, I'm interested in English/american/Australian differences.)

Comments

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

My preference would be never to be called by my given name until I'd invited someone to; that is, as you say, for my friends. Alas, over here *everyone* immediately uses your first name - they'll pick it off your ID or check or whatever, without asking your preference or permission - which is doubly irritating for me since I haven't used that name in something like thirty-five years.

Though far more irritating is when you call up a shop and the fellow on the other end starts calling you 'honey'.

I loathe easy familiarity; it seems to me that it cheapens intimacy, and I'm a bit bewildered that most people don't seem to realize it. But then, I grew up in an extremely old-fashioned subculture.

[watervole.livejournal.com]

That's it exactly. When someone uses my first name without my asking them to, it's a violation of my privacy.

Giving someone your name is inviting them to get to know you better.

I might chat to someone on the train, but I wouldn't tell them my name.

[kerravonsen]

When someone uses my first name without my asking them to, it's a violation of my privacy.

I don't think "privacy" is quite the word... it isn't as if your first name is a secret. But it's a violation of something, even if I don't know the right word. And I kind of think the right word is needed, because a lot of these people don't seem to realize that they're violating anything, and unless we can explain it to them clearly, they never will.

Of course, even if we do explain it to them clearly, they could still continue it, but they wouldn't have ignorance as an excuse any more...

[kerravonsen]

since I haven't used that name in something like thirty-five years

You will always be Mistral to me. 8-)

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

What, even in the herafter? ;-P

[kerravonsen]

Why should we stop using nicknames in Heaven?

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

Er, that should be hereafter. Don't want a sexist heaven, do we?