How the British use names

[watervole]

Cultures are very different in how people use names, which name they use and how/when people introduce themselves.

For instance, I get very irritated when salesmen address me by my first name. My first name is for my friends. If someone wants to sell me a mortgage/gas company/sofa, he can darn well call me 'Mrs Proctor'. They only do it to make me feel I'm with a friend - you know they've been trained to do it for that reason - and it *grates*.

I love name badges at conventions - they remove all the awkwardness of asking people's names, especially when there's too many new people and you've forgotten...

If you meet someone at a party or in a social setting (assuming you haven't just arrived and been formally introduced by your host) how long would you wait before asking the name of someone you're talking to or before telling them what your name is? Would you do it immediately, after ten mins or so, maybe after a couple of hours, or never unless they asked you first?

(This isn't just about how easily you make friends or if you have Aspergers or whatever, I'm interested in English/american/Australian differences.)

Comments

[kerravonsen]

For instance, I get very irritated when salesmen address me by my first name.

What really irritates me is, when I've been introduced to someone, and they immediately start calling me "Kathy". They may think that they're "just trying to be friendly", but it is actually patronizing and demeaning, and I loathe it.
Hasn't happened in a while though, or I'd use the new retaliation I thought up: give it to them back by calling them by the diminutive version of their first name.

If I meet someone in a social setting... I'd either say "Hi, I'm Kathryn" immediately, (with the expectation that they would reciprocate) or not do it at all, since one can have a perfectly interesting conversation without actually knowing the person's name, and I'd probably forget it anyway. It would feel really awkward asking someone's name after I'd been having a decent conversation with them.

[watervole.livejournal.com]

If anyone calls me 'Judy' I waste no time in telling them exactly what I think about it. Not a lot.

[temeres.livejournal.com]

So, she doesn't like being called Judy. (Files that away for the next time she asks me an impertinent question...:) )

[watervole.livejournal.com]

There are far worse things I can call you back - evil grin. Almost anything complimentary should do it...

[temeres.livejournal.com]

You know me that well, anyway:)

[darth-tigger.livejournal.com]

I get the opposite problem - I tell people my name, and they immediately use a lengthened version of it, assuming that that's what my name is short for. Excuse me? If I'd wanted you to call me that, I'd have told you that name. If I tell you what my name is that's BECAUSE IT'S MY NAME!!! For someone to say either "Hi, I'm Chris" "Oh, hello Christine" or "Hi, I'm Frances" "Oh, hello Fran" just seems incredibly rude to me. It's just the same as the conversation going "Hi, I'm Simon" "Oh, hello Sylvia". It's simply not the right name.

Incidentally, my name originally was the lengthened version that most people guess at. But it isn't now, I officially changed it many years ago, because I reallly hate the long version on me. Passport, driving licence, bank account etc. There are still some people who, after me telling them "please don't use the long version, it really upsets me and it isn't my name any more" still insist on using the long version. So I can only assume that they are deliberately trying to upset me, and stop talking to them.