Filk for Gareth
If anyone really wants to know the tune, I can sing for you it once I find out how to fix my camera.
tune: Cushy Butterfield (Little Polly Perkins of Paddington Green)
There's a curly-headed man at the end of the bar,
And when he played Blake, they all called him a star,
Now his hair though still curly, is all turning white,
But the fans are still with him from morning to night.
CHORUS: He's a big lad and a bonnie lad and he likes his beer,
And his name's Gareth Thomas and we wish he was here!
There's a curly-headed man standing up on the stage,
He's flip and he's funny; he's serious and sage,
And when the show's over, you needn't look far,
Oh, we'll all wait for Gareth back down in the bar!
There's a Welshman we've seen both on stage and TV,
And when he is acting, it's something to see,
Do we love the actor? Or is it the man?
Oh, we'll follow Gareth as long as we can.
He smokes; I'm asthmatic. He drinks and I don't,
He's overweight; I'm skinny. But such is my wont,
I still think he's gorgeous, I tell you it's true,
Oh, the young and the handsome, I'll leave them to you!

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That song always struck me as oddly eighteenth-century in the vast amount of decoration needed to make the lyrics fit anywhere near to the tune. More like "Rule, Britannia" or "The lass of Richmond Hill" than, say, "Champagne Charlie" or "The Man Who Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo".
But the Web informs me that it was in fact composed for the halls in 1865, rather than being a reworked folk tune as I'd always supposed.
Presumably the metrical laxity makes it a gift for the filker, like "Greensleeves"! A nice job.
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The inspiration was from Cushy Butterfield: "She's a big lass and a bonnie lass and she likes old beer, and her name is Cushy Butterfield and I wish she was here."
Though you're right about the scansion. I could sing a laundry list to that tune with no trouble at all. (I filked Rule Britannia for Servalan)
I've always loved the quote: "Trouble not the filker in his lair, for you are tasty and your name can be filked to the tune of Greensleeves"
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