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Bad Stuff
Was filtered, now deliberately public. Some of you will remember this post from just before Xmas. Simon Proctor claimed to need money for medical expenses to help a relative. (his wife has family in Sri Lanka, so it sounded plausible) He borrowed more money off us after Xmas and claimed that he had money coming in from a commission that would enable him to repay us very quickly.
By the time of the 4th request we got suspicious and refused to lend him any more. The next day, I phoned his mother and asked her if there was a problem. She almost broke down in tears. He's borrowed an enormous amount from her - well into five figures. She's an 80-year old pensioner and she's now got so little money left that she can't even afford to use the heater in her little greenhouse or go out for an outing with her friends. (We've just mailed her a cheque. She didn't ask for it, but she's getting it anyway.)
Regular readers of this LJ will know how much I like my mother-in-law. She's a really nice person and made me feel welcome right from the start. We have interests in common - she started my interest in needlework and she's a keen gardener.
I've given her the phone number of a debt counselling charity to pass onto her other son (after checking it myself to make sure you could get through to a friendly human being without a long wait). He's a total computer-phobic, which means the numerous pages of advice/help/Excel files for people in debt are not available to him. All the same, he may need hitting over the head with a sledgehammer to be made to use a computer in a local library. He's in total denial about the hole he's in and he's a very plausible liar (Molly doesn't know how much debt he's in, but we both suspect a very large figure as his bank won't allow him a cheque book or a credit card). She thinks he's probably borrowed from loan sharks and is now paying ever increasing amounts of interest. Neither of us have any idea as to what originally started the debt off. He has work and so does his wife (but they have totally separate finances).
I'm angry about the money that we'll never see again - he knew when he borrowed it that we'd saved it up for a specific project and that we needed it back by Easter. But I'm far more angry about the money he's borrowed from Molly.
By the time of the 4th request we got suspicious and refused to lend him any more. The next day, I phoned his mother and asked her if there was a problem. She almost broke down in tears. He's borrowed an enormous amount from her - well into five figures. She's an 80-year old pensioner and she's now got so little money left that she can't even afford to use the heater in her little greenhouse or go out for an outing with her friends. (We've just mailed her a cheque. She didn't ask for it, but she's getting it anyway.)
Regular readers of this LJ will know how much I like my mother-in-law. She's a really nice person and made me feel welcome right from the start. We have interests in common - she started my interest in needlework and she's a keen gardener.
I've given her the phone number of a debt counselling charity to pass onto her other son (after checking it myself to make sure you could get through to a friendly human being without a long wait). He's a total computer-phobic, which means the numerous pages of advice/help/Excel files for people in debt are not available to him. All the same, he may need hitting over the head with a sledgehammer to be made to use a computer in a local library. He's in total denial about the hole he's in and he's a very plausible liar (Molly doesn't know how much debt he's in, but we both suspect a very large figure as his bank won't allow him a cheque book or a credit card). She thinks he's probably borrowed from loan sharks and is now paying ever increasing amounts of interest. Neither of us have any idea as to what originally started the debt off. He has work and so does his wife (but they have totally separate finances).
I'm angry about the money that we'll never see again - he knew when he borrowed it that we'd saved it up for a specific project and that we needed it back by Easter. But I'm far more angry about the money he's borrowed from Molly.
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That is so horrible. How DARE he be so despicable! Except that I expect that he was deluding himself as well as everyone else.
{hugs}
On the other hand, I was afraid that someone had died. At least that hasn't happened.
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As she says, it's not so much the money as the fact that she can no longer trust him or believe what he tells her.
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I do hope you get things sorted out and if you need to chat, just call me.
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He clearly has a lot of problems, and not just financial. I just hope that he'll listen to Molly, and follow up your charity lead.
It may not just be the money, but the money has a huge effect on everyone. It's so good of you to help Molly, but I'm sorry about your project; what were you hoping to do?
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