watervole: (Thoughtful)
Judith Proctor ([personal profile] watervole) wrote2010-02-16 10:31 am
Entry tags:

Bad Stuff

Was filtered, now deliberately public.  Some of you will remember this post from just before Xmas.  Simon Proctor claimed to need money for medical expenses to help a relative.  (his wife has family in Sri Lanka, so it sounded plausible)  He borrowed more money off us after Xmas and claimed that he had money coming in from a commission that would enable him to repay us very quickly.

By the time of the 4th request we got suspicious and refused to lend him any more.  The next day, I phoned his mother and asked her if there was a problem. She almost broke down in tears.  He's borrowed an enormous amount from her - well into five figures.  She's an 80-year old pensioner and she's now got so little money left that she can't even afford to use the heater in her little greenhouse or go out for an outing with her friends.  (We've just mailed her a cheque.  She didn't ask for it, but she's getting it anyway.)

Regular readers of this LJ will know how much  I like my mother-in-law.  She's a really nice person and made me feel welcome right from the start.  We have interests in common - she started my interest in needlework and she's a keen gardener.

I've given her the phone number of a debt counselling charity to pass onto her other son (after checking it myself to make sure you could get through to a friendly human being without a long wait).  He's a total computer-phobic, which means the numerous pages of advice/help/Excel files for people in debt are not available to him.  All the same, he may need hitting over the head with a sledgehammer to be made to use a computer in a local library.  He's in total denial about the hole he's in and he's a very plausible liar (Molly doesn't know how much debt he's in, but we both suspect a very large figure as his bank won't allow him a cheque book or a credit card).  She thinks he's probably borrowed from loan sharks and is now paying ever increasing amounts of interest.  Neither of us have any idea as to what originally started the debt off. He has work and so does his wife (but they have totally separate finances).

I'm angry about the money that we'll never see again - he knew when he borrowed it that we'd saved it up for a specific project and that we needed it back by Easter.  But I'm far more angry about the money he's borrowed from Molly.
kerravonsen: Tenth Doctor hugging Sarah-Jane: "Friends will be friends" (friends)

[personal profile] kerravonsen 2010-02-16 11:12 am (UTC)(link)
{hugs}
That is so horrible. How DARE he be so despicable! Except that I expect that he was deluding himself as well as everyone else.
{hugs}

On the other hand, I was afraid that someone had died. At least that hasn't happened.

[identity profile] lexin.livejournal.com 2010-02-16 12:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, nightmare. I'm so sorry all this has landed on you.

ext_6322: (Worry)

[identity profile] kalypso-v.livejournal.com 2010-02-16 01:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh dear, this is very bad all round. Obviously I've even less idea than you what's started this, but could he be suffering from some sort of addictive behaviour, like gambling? It sounds as if he needs to come to terms with the fact he's doing something very wrong to himself as well as everyone around him before anything else can happen. And as for Molly, I don't know what to say - that's an awful lot of money and you'd need an awful lot of karma to get it back in her lifetime.
ext_15862: (Thoughtful)

[identity profile] watervole.livejournal.com 2010-02-16 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
One of the stories he told Molly (no idea if he was lying - neither of us would be able to tell if he was) is that it started when he tried to finance a musical in Spain. His passions tend to be musical ones.

As she says, it's not so much the money as the fact that she can no longer trust him or believe what he tells her.

[identity profile] katlinel.livejournal.com 2010-02-16 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
*hugs* I am sorry, both for you and your mother-in-law. I hope that someone can hit him over the head to make him realise the problems he's caused.
ext_6322: (Worry)

[identity profile] kalypso-v.livejournal.com 2010-02-16 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, he needs fixing. The money is only part of what's wrong.

[identity profile] vjezkova.livejournal.com 2010-02-16 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I am so sorry too hear this sad thing.*Hugs* You are such good people, ready to help...Poor mom-im-law!

[identity profile] rockwell-666.livejournal.com 2010-02-16 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Gods, I've heard of this sort of thing happening before, but never to someone I know :-(

I do hope you get things sorted out and if you need to chat, just call me.

[identity profile] glitterboy1.livejournal.com 2010-02-16 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I do remember the post, and I remember thinking how much I agreed, that family is family. I'm just so sorry that you - and Molly - have been taken advantage of like this.

He clearly has a lot of problems, and not just financial. I just hope that he'll listen to Molly, and follow up your charity lead.

It may not just be the money, but the money has a huge effect on everyone. It's so good of you to help Molly, but I'm sorry about your project; what were you hoping to do?
ext_15862: (Default)

[identity profile] watervole.livejournal.com 2010-02-17 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
Refit my son's kitchen.

[identity profile] micavity.livejournal.com 2010-02-17 08:51 am (UTC)(link)
insert more of last nights hugs
ext_15862: (Dare to do Better)

[identity profile] watervole.livejournal.com 2010-02-17 09:27 am (UTC)(link)
It will still get done. I'll extend the mortgage or do it later in the year. You're not going to lose it because of your **** uncle.