English is Evil

[watervole]

vjezkova , read this and weep!  The poem is perfectly correct English, just evilly uses lots of words that are spelt and pronounced in different ways.  (Thanks to happydisciple  for pointing out the site)

I couldn't read it at my normal speed. My brain kept having to slow down as it encountered too many variant spelling rules all at once.

I suddenly have great sympathy with my half great great uncle Herbert...

I knew only two things about him.  One was that he was a friend of HG Wells and the other that he was a professor of History at University College, Cardiff.

Out of curiosity, I once entered Herbert Bruce and HG Wells into Google - I found this page.  They were both members of the Society for Simplified Spelling - which is where the above poem is to be found.

It's a small world.

Comments

[naath.livejournal.com]

Ah, spelling. We luvs it. Of course to reform it to better conform to pronunciation we would have to pick a Standard Pronunciation... which would maybe offend some.

[watervole.livejournal.com]

Too true. That's the most outstanding argument against doing it.

I'm a northener. I would spell 'path' differently from my southener husband.

[del-c.livejournal.com]

And having picked one pronunciation, we would have to keep it from changing over time.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

That's wonderful. I have bookmarked it for future cheering purposes. Thank you.

[cu-sith.livejournal.com]

I tried to read it outloud. Helped with the speed but I think I sprained something in my tongue.

[vjezkova.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. My icon is, I believe. a personification of my state of mind.
Oh my poor English, how true you are, Judith, to advise weeping to me!
Honestly, I read it aloud, chocking, struggling, dashing to my Oxford Advanced Learner´s Dictionary here and there. Even cursing here and there, yes, I confess...
However, I still love English, I do, and I love you too! :-)
Um...congratulations of your magnificent ancestry!!!
Thank you,dear. I am going to spread The Chaos among my friends and also native speakers, with your permission, of course. I am only human, and I will enjoy watching other people and listening to them!!!

[watervole.livejournal.com]

Grin. I look forward to your report of watching the expressions on your friends' faces as they struggle!