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Coping with it all
I've been sitting playing music on my psaltery. It's an open-string instrument
and well suited to slow sad tunes. The concertina is for happier days.
I still can't really wrap my mind around it all.
You think you have problems of one kind or another and you worry about work or
the garden or things that you want to do and can't.
It all sort of pales into significance.
It's my nephews that make it so tragic. I'd miss my bother or any of my other
sisters, but none of them have children so young. Rosalie is ten years younger
than I am. My youngest child is sixteen. Hers isn't even a year old.
My family would feel no less pain if they lost me, but at least we've had those
years together. I've been there when they learnt to walk, when they started
school, when they were ill. I was there when my eldest fell in love and needed
my support. I'm there when they need to talk to me. (Their dad is as well, I
hasten to add - but they have both of us)
I think I'll find it a little easier to cope with when I know more. The odds of
survival are better for younger sufferers, so at least she has that on her side.
What we don't yet know is how far advanced it is.
I can only sit and wait for news. It tends to be confused and contradictory as
second-hand information often is. The latest seems to be that there are two
tumours that are probably (but not 100% certain) cancerous. They hope to reduce
the size with chemo until they are small enough to operate on. She's still
having problems keeping food down.
I've told my bother-in-law that I'll help in any way I can. The only good thing
is that his parents live very close. He's got help close to hand with the
children and they know and like their grandparents.
I've told my sons, but only half the truth in Henry's case. I've told him his
aunt is ill, but not how ill. He has exams coming up. Once the exams are over,
I'll tell him the whole story. By then we should have a better idea of her
chances in any case.
Richard took me for a walk along the Stour. It helped a little. The Stour near
Wimborne (National Trust land) is one of the most beautiful places I know in
June. Saw banded demoiselle dragonflies. The males are a lot easier to spot,
but we saw a couple of females as well.
My voice has gone totally. It was rough from a couple of days ago when I was
working too close to a really loud PA system and either an infection or the
stress has finished it off totally. Just when I need most to talk to people, I
can't.
All e-mails/LJ postings are appreciated. I need to feel in touch with people
right now. I know three, maybe four, of you have been through similar
experiences recently, either suffering yourself or having partners or parents
with cancer.
If talking about it will help you, then it may well help me to listen. I need
to know what Rosalie may have ahead of her in the way of treatment,
side-effects, emotional upheavals. I can support her better, if I know what to
expect.
She's my youngest sister, one of twins. There are two of us older girls and the
twins. I love the twins equally, but when they were small, Carolyn and I used
to help look after one each. Rosalie was always the one I looked after.
Now all I have to do is persuade Richard to get a test for prostate cancer.
He'll object as he hates going to the doctor, but he's in the age where it
begins to be a risk, I'm worried all round and would rather have peace of mind
in his case. His father died of prostate cancer three years ago...
Added later - I've asked him and he says he'll do it -- tomorrow... I know
Richard, he'll put it off and off. My voice is too bad for me to phone and make
him an appointment.
Why are men so terrified of doctors?
and well suited to slow sad tunes. The concertina is for happier days.
I still can't really wrap my mind around it all.
You think you have problems of one kind or another and you worry about work or
the garden or things that you want to do and can't.
It all sort of pales into significance.
It's my nephews that make it so tragic. I'd miss my bother or any of my other
sisters, but none of them have children so young. Rosalie is ten years younger
than I am. My youngest child is sixteen. Hers isn't even a year old.
My family would feel no less pain if they lost me, but at least we've had those
years together. I've been there when they learnt to walk, when they started
school, when they were ill. I was there when my eldest fell in love and needed
my support. I'm there when they need to talk to me. (Their dad is as well, I
hasten to add - but they have both of us)
I think I'll find it a little easier to cope with when I know more. The odds of
survival are better for younger sufferers, so at least she has that on her side.
What we don't yet know is how far advanced it is.
I can only sit and wait for news. It tends to be confused and contradictory as
second-hand information often is. The latest seems to be that there are two
tumours that are probably (but not 100% certain) cancerous. They hope to reduce
the size with chemo until they are small enough to operate on. She's still
having problems keeping food down.
I've told my bother-in-law that I'll help in any way I can. The only good thing
is that his parents live very close. He's got help close to hand with the
children and they know and like their grandparents.
I've told my sons, but only half the truth in Henry's case. I've told him his
aunt is ill, but not how ill. He has exams coming up. Once the exams are over,
I'll tell him the whole story. By then we should have a better idea of her
chances in any case.
Richard took me for a walk along the Stour. It helped a little. The Stour near
Wimborne (National Trust land) is one of the most beautiful places I know in
June. Saw banded demoiselle dragonflies. The males are a lot easier to spot,
but we saw a couple of females as well.
My voice has gone totally. It was rough from a couple of days ago when I was
working too close to a really loud PA system and either an infection or the
stress has finished it off totally. Just when I need most to talk to people, I
can't.
All e-mails/LJ postings are appreciated. I need to feel in touch with people
right now. I know three, maybe four, of you have been through similar
experiences recently, either suffering yourself or having partners or parents
with cancer.
If talking about it will help you, then it may well help me to listen. I need
to know what Rosalie may have ahead of her in the way of treatment,
side-effects, emotional upheavals. I can support her better, if I know what to
expect.
She's my youngest sister, one of twins. There are two of us older girls and the
twins. I love the twins equally, but when they were small, Carolyn and I used
to help look after one each. Rosalie was always the one I looked after.
Now all I have to do is persuade Richard to get a test for prostate cancer.
He'll object as he hates going to the doctor, but he's in the age where it
begins to be a risk, I'm worried all round and would rather have peace of mind
in his case. His father died of prostate cancer three years ago...
Added later - I've asked him and he says he'll do it -- tomorrow... I know
Richard, he'll put it off and off. My voice is too bad for me to phone and make
him an appointment.
Why are men so terrified of doctors?
no subject
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/wyntk/ovary/page12