Becoming a British Citizen

[watervole]

 My sister, aunty_gillian says that her American husband is going to officially become a British citizen as of Monday.

She says: "I need suggestions on how to celebrate the "significance and responsibility". I'm thinking, should it be watching Coronation Street every night for a week, while drinking tea from a 'Wills and Kate' souvenir wedding mug? Or perhaps we should have a different theme each night: haggis, neeps, tatties, shortbread and whisky one night; mushy peas and tripe and mild the next, etc. He also has to affirm (in an atheistic way) to bear allegience to the Queen, her heirs and successors. And he will be eligible to vote."

I think a cream tea is called for on one day, and a proper afternoon tea (on the best china) on another.

Proctor family consensus is that obligatory films should include 'Passport to Pimlico', 'The Importance of Being Earnest' (the old one with Edith
Evans), one of the early Carry On films, Wallace and Grommet, and this clip from the Reduced Shakespeare Company
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-D885N2OMcA  (or Shakespeare's Henry V - which has Agincourt), because hating the French is obligatory for all true-blooded Englishmen.

What rituals do my imaginative readers feel are required in order for someone to be truly British?

Comments

[rpdom]

Sunday roast. Beef with yorkies, spuds and boiled/steamed veg and lots of rich gravy.

Fish and Chips.

Watching the weather forecast.

Ranting about newspaper-of-choice.

I can't think of any others at the moment.

[watervole]

Know what the test card looks like...

[inamac]

Listening to the Shipping Forecast.

Being able to read an Ordnance Survey map.

[watervole]

I must admit that I have a fondness for the shipping forecast. It's almost like poetry.

[lexin]

You don't mention understanding cricket.

Now, I am British (as you know, I point it out to readers who don't know me personally) and I don't understand cricket, but I thought I should mention it.

[kerravonsen]

The Highly Esteemed Goon Show.

[ranunculus]

By all means go out for a bracing walk across some desolate moorland. Preferably when it is drizzling rain. End up at a smoky pub for a pint with the locals. When engaging in these activities it is best done with a dog at heel. :)

[watervole]

No smoky pubs now - thank goodness.

[coth.livejournal.com]

Drink a pint of real ale in a proper pub.

Alternatively, for a different model of Britishness, drink six pints of lager and a whisky chaser, grope the barmaid, get thown out of the bar, and vomit in the gutter.

:-)

[coth.livejournal.com]

BTW - the former is a wry comment on Britishness, not a serious suggestion - though I suspect you know that.

[happytune.livejournal.com]

If you lived in the Midlands I'd say a fantastic curry to celebrate the UK's wonderful diversity. Not sure what the curry situation is down your neck of the woods!

[were-gopher.livejournal.com]

Defying the elements by sitting on a beach in a deckchair with the bloody minded thoughts of "we came to the seaside and we're bloody well going to sit on the beach". Knotted hanky and fish paste sandwiches optional.

[willplant.livejournal.com]

wrong time of year - but listen to Test Match Special when it is raining

[katlinel.livejournal.com]

Having a great long moan about something and finishing with, "Still, mustn't grumble."

Watching Doctor Who early on the Saturday evening.

[watervole.livejournal.com]

He's an SF fan, so I'm hoping the Dr Who part of the nationality is already in place. If not, I shall have to have words with my brother-in-law...

[uitlander]

They should have a glass of English whiskey from the English Whiskey Company.

[inamac.livejournal.com]

Demonstrate the ability to form an orderly queue - even if there is only one of you.

[decemberleaf.livejournal.com]

Marmite. This was an unforgettable part of my welcome-to-England initiation in 1965. Not sure if it made me truly British, but it did make me feel I had passed some test.

[wingedkami.livejournal.com]

I feel that hating the French is best done while drinking champagne and eating camembert.

Curry, fish and chips, and roast beef with all the trimmings should be on the menu.

There should be a quiz, to ensure he knows whether it's appropriate to go out wearing your vest and pants, and under what circumstances men should be wearing suspenders.

[linda-joyce.livejournal.com]

Fish and chips eaten out doors out of the paper wrapping. It should be news paper but they aren't wrapped in that any more.

[cobrabay.livejournal.com]

Strictly speaking Passport to Pimlico is about the importance of being Burgundian, so I'd have gone with Kind Hearts and Coronets.
I think you need at least one orderly queue, a real ale and a Cornish Pasty.

[raspberryfool.livejournal.com]

He must learn to grumble about the weather. If it's cold it's too cold, if it's hot it's too hot, if it's raining it's 'bloody awful', if it's dry and sunny, we need some rain! And he must suffix his weather grumbles with "Still, mustn't grumble"!

[alexmc.livejournal.com]

I've asked annafdd who is going through this sort of thing sometime... She seems to have done about half of your commenters suggestions already. Her suggestion involved tea, as did mine.

AnnaFDD: A marathon session listening to the Archers, whilst camping somewhere muddy, and of course drinking strong builders tea.

[rockwell-666.livejournal.com]

1) Talk about the weather.

2) Learn to complain about other people's rudeness by going "Tch, really!" under your breath and shaking your head.

3) Queueing

4) Learning to cope with the national team's catastrophic failure at football/ rugby/ cricket etc.

[davidwake.livejournal.com]

5) Slag off the yanks.

[auntygillian.livejournal.com]

Excellent suggestions so far. Keep them coming!
He loves real ale, loves fish and chips, hates marmite.
Will watch cricket outside from his favourite real ale pub that happens to overlook the cricket ground.

Must take him to the seaside on a cold windy day!