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Waiting...
I can't take much more of this. I can't concentrate. My sense of balance is off (I feel wobbly when I walk). It's a horrible kind of limbo.
How can I grieve properly when she isn't dead yet? But at the same time, I grieve every day and there's no end to it. Everything is stretched out.
While she had quality of life, it made sense. Even when she could only sit in a wheelchair in the hospice garden and watch her children play, it made sense. But what is the point of prolonging life beyond that point?
There comes a point where it feels more like cruelty than kindness. I felt the same way when my father-in-law was dying. His life was prolonged past the point where he himself would have chosen to die (his words). What was the point of forcing him to carry on through pain, through loss of quality of life and to subject his wife to having to care for a man who no longer recognised her?
When it comes to my turn, as it inevitably will some day - will I have the right to die at a time of my own choosing?
The next time I update my will (which I need to do soon anyway) I shall ask to have a living will drafted at the same time. I've been a believer in voluntary euthanasia for over a decade, it's time I got my personal wishes down on paper. I only hope that some day living wills will have legal standing and that other people's religious beliefs regarding suicide will not be allowed to over-ride my personal beliefs about being able to die with dignity.
How can I grieve properly when she isn't dead yet? But at the same time, I grieve every day and there's no end to it. Everything is stretched out.
While she had quality of life, it made sense. Even when she could only sit in a wheelchair in the hospice garden and watch her children play, it made sense. But what is the point of prolonging life beyond that point?
There comes a point where it feels more like cruelty than kindness. I felt the same way when my father-in-law was dying. His life was prolonged past the point where he himself would have chosen to die (his words). What was the point of forcing him to carry on through pain, through loss of quality of life and to subject his wife to having to care for a man who no longer recognised her?
When it comes to my turn, as it inevitably will some day - will I have the right to die at a time of my own choosing?
The next time I update my will (which I need to do soon anyway) I shall ask to have a living will drafted at the same time. I've been a believer in voluntary euthanasia for over a decade, it's time I got my personal wishes down on paper. I only hope that some day living wills will have legal standing and that other people's religious beliefs regarding suicide will not be allowed to over-ride my personal beliefs about being able to die with dignity.
no subject
HUGS
Gina