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Funeral next week
I thought this was going to get easier when Rosalie died. It did in one way -
at least the horrible tension of waiting for the phone has gone. But as for the
rest...
This has hit me harder than any death I've encountered so far. We were close,
she was ten years younger than me and she had two small children. I guess I
shouldn't be surprised.
I'm way too tense. My shoulder pain keeps ratchetting upwards in spite of
exercise and visits to the gym. I sleep, but I wake with stomach pains and know
it's irritible bowel syndrome.
I can't even concentrate on board games.
THe e-mail is backed up to 80 (and that's after clearing a batch this morning).
The length of my e-mail backlog is a surprisingly accurate measure of my mental
and physical health. I can only type a limited amount in a day and the more
stressed I am, the more the shoulder hurts and the less I can type. 40 seems to
be the indicator level, so to speak. If it's past that, then all is not well.
I've got several things on my mental 'de-stress' today, so I'll see if any of
them help.
I'm going to reduce the backlog by 10 come hell or high water (the backlog
itself adds to the stress).
I'm going to spend an hour gardening. It's always hard to get out there and
start, but I always feel better afterwards.
I'll walk into Broadstone (about half an hour's walk) and sort out some stuff at
the bank.
The funeral is Wednesday 18th, St Andrew's Church in Caversham.
Whether the funeral will help give me closure, I don't know. I think some
things simply have to run their course, and this may be one of them.
I loved her.
Please don't reply to this posting.
at least the horrible tension of waiting for the phone has gone. But as for the
rest...
This has hit me harder than any death I've encountered so far. We were close,
she was ten years younger than me and she had two small children. I guess I
shouldn't be surprised.
I'm way too tense. My shoulder pain keeps ratchetting upwards in spite of
exercise and visits to the gym. I sleep, but I wake with stomach pains and know
it's irritible bowel syndrome.
I can't even concentrate on board games.
THe e-mail is backed up to 80 (and that's after clearing a batch this morning).
The length of my e-mail backlog is a surprisingly accurate measure of my mental
and physical health. I can only type a limited amount in a day and the more
stressed I am, the more the shoulder hurts and the less I can type. 40 seems to
be the indicator level, so to speak. If it's past that, then all is not well.
I've got several things on my mental 'de-stress' today, so I'll see if any of
them help.
I'm going to reduce the backlog by 10 come hell or high water (the backlog
itself adds to the stress).
I'm going to spend an hour gardening. It's always hard to get out there and
start, but I always feel better afterwards.
I'll walk into Broadstone (about half an hour's walk) and sort out some stuff at
the bank.
The funeral is Wednesday 18th, St Andrew's Church in Caversham.
Whether the funeral will help give me closure, I don't know. I think some
things simply have to run their course, and this may be one of them.
I loved her.
Please don't reply to this posting.